Please contact one of our members for more information.
Odds are if you are looking at this website you are in need of some camaraderie. You will find it at this meeting. All of us in this room have hit a low part of our lives. We now have a better understanding of ourselves and are even able to laugh. We invite you to be a part of our group. It costs nothing. We gain knowledge of ourselves and understanding of each other. We are here to help.
When (Open to Addicts only):
- 2:00 PM – 3:00 PM
Trinity Episcopal Church
320 E College St.
Iowa City, IA 52240
Saturday meeting documents:
Welcome, my name is ______, and I am a recovering sex addict.
Please rise and join me in the serenity prayer.
Will someone volunteer to read from Voices of Recovery?
Ours is a fellowship of women and men who share our experience, strength, and hope with each other that we may solve our addictions. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop compulsive sexual behavior. There are no dues or fees for membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions. We are not allied with any organization. We do not wish to engage in any controversy, endorse nor oppose any causes. Although there is no organizational affiliation between Alcoholics Anonymous and our fellowship we are based on the principles of AA. Our primary purpose is to stay sexually healthy and help other sex addicts achieve freedom from compulsive sexual behavior. This meeting is only open to those wishing to recover from sexually compulsive behavior, please.
Now is the time we introduce ourselves by stating our first name, nature of our addiction, and length of sobriety. Who would like to begin?
How it works:
Will someone please volunteer to read from the SAA green book, Chapter 3 Our Program?
Attending SAA meetings starts us on a new way of life. But while the SAA fellowship supports our recovery, the actual work of recovery is described in the Twelve Steps. Meetings are forums for learning how to integrate the steps into our lives. Working the Twelve Steps leads to a spiritual transformation that results in a sustainable relief from our addiction. When we start attending meetings of Sex Addicts Anonymous, many of us are surprised to meet people who are enjoying life and experiencing freedom from the painful, compulsive behaviors that had brought them to SAA. Listening to other members share about their recovery, we gradually realize that in order to make the same kind of progress, we need to be willing to do whatever it takes to get sexually abstinent, and to stay abstinent. We have learned from hard experience that we cannot achieve and maintain abstinence if we aren’t willing to change, the Twelve Steps of SAA will lead to and awakening that allows us to live a new way of life according to spiritual principles. Taking these steps allows fundamental change to occur in our lives. They are the foundation of our recovery.
- We admitted we were powerless over addictive sexual behavior – that our lives had become unmanageable.
- Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
- Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
- Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
- Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
- Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
- Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
- Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
- Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
- Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
- Sought, through prayer and meditation, to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other sex addicts and to practice these principles in our lives.
No step is done well in isolation. We work the steps with someone who understands our problem and cares about our recovery, preferably a sponsor. A sponsor will help us prepare for each step, give us guidance and suggestions, and listen to us as we share the experiences and insights we gain.
But the steps are more than a series of exercises. They provide basic principles for living. Most of us find opportunities on a daily basis to apply one or more of the steps to some challenge in our life. Over time, the spiritual principles in the steps become integrated into our thoughts, feelings, and behavior. We find that we are not only working the steps- we are living them.
This is a Step format meeting. We will now work on our current step. We raise our hand when we wish to speak and we respect other’s opinions. As this involves work as a group, feedback and interaction are encouraged.
Now is the time we check in and get current with the group. We listen respectfully to what others have to say and share our experience as it seems appropriate. We use the words “I” or “we” instead of “you” when sharing. We do not interrupt or give advice unless we are asked. We address our sharing to the whole group, not to one or more individuals. A meeting is not a place to meet sexual partners, nor is it group therapy. We avoid mentioning specific names or placed associated with our acting out behavior. We try not to use offensive language or descriptions that are too explicit. Whom we meet and what is said in these meetings is treated as confidential and not discussed with non-group members. We strive for an 8:00 closing. Who would like to begin?
Announcements and 7th tradition:
While we pass the basket, are there any announcements?
Now we will hear A Vision For You from our friends in Alanon:
A few special words to those of you who haven’t been with us long: Whatever your problems, there are those among us who have had them, too. If you try to keep an open mind, you will find help. You will come to realize that there is no situation too difficult to be bettered and no unhappiness too great to be lessened. We aren’t perfect. The welcome we give you may not show the warmth we have in our hearts for you. After a while, you’ll discover that though you may not like all of us, you’ll love us in a very special way – the same way we already love you. Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else, but let there be no gossip or criticism of one another. Instead, let the understanding, love, and peace of the program grow in you one day at a time. And remember, when anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of SAA always to be there, and for that, I am responsible.
After a moment of silence for the still suffering addict, please rise, join hands, and join in the Serenity Prayer.
SAA Circles Brain Storming:
- Compulsive masturbation
- Porn of all kinds
- Sex out of committed or dating relationship
- Video sex
- Booty Calls (apps/Online hookups)
- Fantasy (usually porn related, but can be self-objectifying)
- Mood regulation via masturbation
- Sexual acts of all kinds outside a committed relationship
- Sexting and video chats
- Phone sex
- Hookups (anonymous)
- Apps (Kik, Tinder, etc.)
- Unhealthy boundaries
- Lying to cover up
- Self loathing
- All masturbation
- All porn
- Anonymous sexual behavior
- Places for anonymous sex (maybe middle circle)
- Drugs and alcohol (maybe middle circle)
- Euphoric recall
- Inappropriate flirting
- Masochistic and sadomasochistic behavior
- Adult bookstores
- Massage parlors
- Strip Clubs
- T.V. Programs?
- Not sleeping
- Compulsive eating
- Lack of Hygiene
- Negative thoughts
- pseudo porn
- Alone with acting out partner(s)
- Following attractive women/men
- a computer in the room
- suggestive sites
- Staying up
- Going to bars
- Resentments and anger
- Stuffing feelings
- Ignoring self (Care)
- Self Pitty
Actions and steps to get out of middle circle:
- Call sponsor
- Call a friend
- go for a walk
- get away from behavior
- engage in outer circle behaviors
- Take a walk
- Playing with my children and being with family
- Bike Riding
- Reading helpful books and step material
- Praying and Meditation
- Exercising, stretching, yoga
- Writing & Journaling
- Playing games
- Going to meetings
- Step work
- Reading step work
- Having and doing healthy things and with healthy friends
- Support calls
- Working out/Exercising
- Non-Sexual intimacy with partner
- Healthy sexuality with partner
- Being in public
- Low self-esteem
- lack of coping skills
- self worth
- unable to manage my own emotional state
- Self sabatage